i barfeds in our rink
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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