she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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