just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Man, jail baloney is awful.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize