butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
