Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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