i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize