Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
