I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
