He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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