He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I love having hate sex.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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