The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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