i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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