the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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