Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize