Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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