sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
