i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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