Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Dick very happy bro
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
