I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
