Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
