So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
