i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
