Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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