remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
