There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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