But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
