Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
