This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
im having a threesome with these popsicles
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with youâ€
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