Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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