On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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