using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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