Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
