I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
