NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
