I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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