I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
