Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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