I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
