When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
