They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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