you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
