she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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