I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
