Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
