dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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