I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
