So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
