Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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