ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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