i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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