I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
