She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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