respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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