K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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