There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
