Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
