I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You made out with two different species that night
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
