um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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