I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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