She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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