i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize