He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Church boner. Awkwardddd
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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