Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
